Marriage and Family Therapist and Divorce Mediator, Founder of Therapy with Katerina Fager, Katerina Fager, Writes A Chapter In A New Book Titled, “Stress-Free Divorce Volume 3” About How To Communicate and Co-Parent With Your Ex-Partner After a Divorce
The new book titled, “Stress-Free Divorce Volume 3” spotlights Marriage and Family Therapist and Divorce Mediator, Katerina Fager, to discuss her insights on How To Communicate and Co-Parent With Your Ex-Partner After a Divorce.
According to Fager, the most common misconception is that you should stay together for the sake of your children, or that you cannot have good communication with your ex after a divorce.
Fager, stated, “It’s very hard to make the right decision whether to stay together, or to divorce when you have children. You don’t want to break up your family. You are worried what other people will think. You are worried about your children and how they would react to divorce. But, if you are in a toxic relationship and you constantly fight and argue with your spouse, staying in this type of situation and relationship can be very damaging to your kids. Your relationship with your partner is the first relationship role model to your children.”
When asked about if you can have good communication and co-parent with your ex, Fager said, “That goes down to the stigma attached with divorce. We all hope that we are getting married only once. So, when divorce comes, we often see it as something painful, shameful and sad. We see it as a fight for custody and not as a transition to a different stage of our life.
During the divorce process you feel angry and emotional. You want to fight for your children and you want to hurt your ex. But this custody battle only hurts you and your children. Take a deep breath and think for a second how your children feel. Yes, you are very hurt and scared. At this point, you probably don’t want to see your ex ever again and even thinking of talking to your ex makes you nauseous. But remember, you have children and you will have to still co-parent with your ex. That means having some kind of communication together. One day you will both be grandparents to your grandchildren and maybe occasionally see your ex. So, with the help of a trained therapist you can learn how to communicate and co-parent effectively even after your divorce.”
In the book chapter, Fager outlined divorce pitfalls to be aware of and avoid, explaining, “When you are a parent and you are going through a divorce, you should be aware that your children can hear you, can see you and your body language and can feel when you are sad, upset or angry. You should avoid talking in a bad manner about your ex-partner. You should always keep in mind that bad mouthing your ex in front of your children is very damaging to them. So many parents do that and need this as a constant reminder.
Even talking to a friend on the phone and having kids in the other room. You think your kids are busy playing videogames, or watching television, but kids are smart and pay attention to everything. They are smart little people and they can sense anything especially, if you are going through the divorce process. Children love both parents and it is very hard for them even to process the divorce, or to pick and choose. Some children feel guilty and feel responsible for their parents’ divorce. So, talking bad about their mom or dad makes it very hard on them.”
Katerina Fager is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Divorce Mediator, Blogger and Speaker practicing in Chicago, Illinois. Originally from the Czech Republic, Katerina graduated from Northeastern Illinois University in Chicago with a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and completed her Divorce Mediation training at Northwestern University.
Katerina works with individuals, couples and families struggling with relationship issues, or going through a divorce.
The chapter concluded with Fager saying, “During this painful process children might start acting out, or become very emotional and misbehave. Try to be very patient and supportive. As much as it is difficult for you, it is very difficult for them too. They need to process their feelings and it is helpful to see a professional who can do that with your children. Children will talk to you, but might open up more about their struggles to an individual therapist. They might feel hesitant telling you everything as they will not want to hurt your feelings. Spending more quality time with your children during this difficult time is also important. Put away your phone, pay attention and listen to them. Your children might feel lonely and miss the other parent. It is a big transition and adjustment for the whole family. It takes time and effort from everyone involved. But remember, things will get better over time. Don’t lose hope, stay positive and better days are coming your way.
If you want to know more about how to communicate and co-parent with your ex-partner after a divorce, then send an email to email@example.com, book a 10-minute free consultation, or visit www.KaterinaFager.com, or check my Facebook blog @therapywithkaterinafager.”
To read the full chapter, get a copy of “Stress-Free Divorce Volume 3”, visit: http://a.co/3TXWOBM.
To learn more about Katerina Fager, please visit http://www.katerinafager.com/.
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